Blue Fox Shaman

Another scary episode in the Marriage of Heaven and Hell

[ Bärchen enters, looking tired ]

Fox: Hey Bärchen, You’re finally home! You’ve been working too late lately my love, we need to get you some vacation time.

Bärchen: Yeah, I’ve been rather busy.

Fox: Well, tonight I’ve cooked up a special Halloween treat for you during this Spooky Season. And guess who’s coming to dinner!

Bärchen: Sidney Poitier?

Fox: In the movie, yes. No, but I mean coming here. Guess!

Bärchen: Oh gosh, what have you cooked up this time, my love. Or I guess I need to guess who…

Satan: BOO!

Bärchen: Aaaaah! Yikes! What the…

Satan: Yes, ’tis I, the Prince of Darkness himself.

Fox: Bärchen meet Satan; Satan, this is my honey-bunch, Bärchen.

Satan: A pleasure, sir. Fox has told me all about you.

Bärchen: Umm, hi! Pleased to meet you as well… [aside to Fox] is that what I’m supposed to say?

Fox: Satan had some time out of his very busy schedule, so I thought you guys might like to talk.

Bärchen: Hell yeah! Oh… hah!

Satan: Thanks for inviting me! I brought you guys a gift, something appropriate to the season.

[ Satan hands Fox a deck of cards ]

Fox: Oh my goddess! Thank you! Bärchen, do you know what this is?

Bärchen: It looks similar to that deck of Tarot cards that you borrowed from Death when you took over for him.

Fox: Exactly. And with this we can call forth the spirits of the dead. What a thoughtful gift, and just in time for Dia de Los Muertos. Are you up for a little Necromancy, sweetie?

Bärchen: Might as well add that to all my other crimes. Why not?!

Fox: Well, let’s sit down. Everything’s ready and we can talk as we enjoy our repast.

Satan: Good. I’m starving. Hey, Bärchen, Fox told me you work for one of those Evil Mega-corporations.

Bärchen: Yeah. These days who doesn’t?!

[… the conversation continues over dinner …]

Satan: Could you pass me more of those Murasaki sweet potatoes? I’ve got to get your recipe too, if you wouldn’t mind.

Fox: Of course!

Bärchen: So, I didn’t quite catch what you were saying about your reputation…

Satan: There’s been a lot of misunderstanding about my role. Hmmm… how should I should explain that? … Ah! From what Fox has told me about you, I think you’ll get it this way. First off, you got to understand that I am, indeed, “the Adversary”.

Fox: I think Bärchen also needs to understand that Life, the Universe, and Everything, to borrow a phrase, is played as a game. It’s all the Play of the Great Mystery.

Satan: Right! So, in this game, I’m your designated opponent. Let’s use the poker analogy.

Fox: I love poker.

Satan: You’re too damn good at it, so Persephone tells me. But anyway, you’re all given a certain number of chips to start, and you’re dealt hand after hand until you run out of those chips. I’m the guy across the table, playing to win your chips from you with each hand dealt, as best as I know how.

Bärchen: That hardly seems fair. You must have accumulated quite a few chips by now, and some folks start out with next to nothing.

Satan: So, okay, yeah, it’s hardly “fair” if by that you mean that all the players start out on an equal footing. That’s the way it is, though.

Fox: What most folks don’t realize is that the Great Mystery loves to watch the game change and transform. It’s their game, after all, so they can set it up however they want. And they have set it up so that new forms, new patterns, new lives constantly evolve.

Satan: Then they pass, to make room for yet more new forms, patterns and lives. That’s where I come in. I’m the guy who makes sure there’s always room at the gaming table for new players.

Bärchen: Ah!

Satan: And that’s why everybody sees me as “Evil”. Yeah, okay, from their perspective I am. I’m the one who enforces the limitations. Of course nobody is gonna like me. But what they’re wrong about is that I don’t cheat. I never cheat. I don’t have to.

Fox: People do what your Psychologists call “projection”, Bärchen. They attribute to their opponent all the bad things they would do, if they dared.

Satan: Oh, they dare, believe me. And they still attribute all their bad business to other guys sitting at the gaming table with them. Or to me, their Ultimate Opponent. But in the end, nobody gets away with it. Me, I don’t mind, makes my job that much easier.

Bärchen: I see. If they would cooperate with one another, they might actually be able to win a few more hands, or at least keep playing for a little while longer.

Satan: Again, I’m not going to say anything. I’ve got my job, and if they want to play in my favor, that’s their decision. Makes life crap for a lot of other players at the table, sure. I find endless amusement in how they accuse others of doing what they themselves are actually doing.

Bärchen: Playing in a way that benefits you, and hurts others, even while accusing others of doing the same?

Satan: Exactly.

Bärchen: Hmmm! I think I get it now.

Fox: And remember what we were saying about you, Bärchen, being a prophet to a wicked and cruel generation. Or, really, that applies to so many of those now despised as “liberals”.

Bärchen: How that ever became a term of opprobrium is beyond me.

Satan: Just the sort of thing we’ve been talking about.

Fox: Yes. When you call others to real, old-fashioned repentance, watch out!

Bärchen: “So did they persecute the prophets who were before you.”

Fox: Uh huh.

Satan: America, for example, was actually headed for greatness, if they had just heeded those calls. Now, though…

Bärchen: The calls to lift up the poor, the needy, the stranger?

Fox: And to repent of their genocide against Native Americans, their enslavement of Africans, their denigration of women, their rape of the environment…

Satan: The list goes on, doesn’t it?! Like I said, though, I’m going to win this one. I always do, in the end. House rules. But so many have doubled-down on ignoring those calls, and of saying just the opposite, I’m actually beginning to feel like I don’t have to pay attention anymore, so many folks are doing my job for me.

Fox: Feeling bored?

Satan: Pretty much. Why do you think I could take the time out to meet with y’all. I could play this in my sleep nowadays.

Bärchen: We should teach you how to play Wordly.

Fox: Or do like we do. I’ve got Bärchen learning Spanish now.

Satan: I might take you up on the Wordly. I got in plenty of Spanish practice during the Inquisition.

Bärchen: “No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!”

Fox: Okay, love, settle down. You’re such a Monty Python fan! [laughs] Or, actually, why don’t you get up and bring out dessert. [to Satan] I made a special dessert for this occasion.

Satan: Let me guess… devil’s food cake?

Fox: Of course.

Satan: [fist pumps] Yesss!!!

[They all laugh]