[… Bärchen and The Twins are talking …]
The Twins: We heard about this little Medicine Show gig you’re getting started. What you need, bro’, is a Burning Bush.
Bärchen: I need a Burning Bush?! Guys, you’ve lost me. What the heck does that mean?
The Twins: You know, a Mission Statement, an Imprimatur and a hot Company Logo all rolled into one.
Bärchen: What?! are we using corporate-speak instead of religious discourse now?
The Twins: And the difference is?
Bärchen: Okay, wait…
The Twins: Yeah, see, you’ve got this thing all wrong. You’re sellin’ a do-it-yourself kit, but people want a finished product, a secret mantra, and a handshake to go with it. And here you are tryin’ to sell a kit for a ship in a bottle; ‘cept the bottle is already closed up.
Bärchen: Oh, come on, guys, it’s not that hard! Is it?… Well, okay, but it’s really worth the effort!
The Twins: This one! And he wonders why nobody ever made him the manager of nothin’.
Bärchen: Come on, you two. I’m very happy being an Individual Contributor. And besides, I can’t sell what I haven’t got. All I’ve got is a rough map that Fox drew for me. I guess I could make copies of it. But why would I ever sell it? It has a happy home here in our Wedding Album.
The Twins: Oy! Blinded by love, this guy! It’s your loss, we’re tellin’ you bro’. We gotta run, so we’ll talk to you later.
Bärchen: See ya!
[… The Twins leave …]
Fox: What did the Guys want?
Bärchen: They said I need a Burning Bush
Fox: Oh. Yeah. I’ve been working on one. Ours is going to be a little different though.
Bärchen: Uh, okay. How so?
Fox: You ever hear of Kitsunebi or Foxfire?
Bärchen: Of course.
Fox: Normally we Kitsune use it to lead people astray to their doom. But you can certainly use it to lead them to Enlightenment. It’s perfect, because everybody expects it to be a trick.
Bärchen: You want that? You want to hide in plain sight, so to speak?
Fox: Of course. You have to separate out the ones who are going to fail and mess up their personalities completely. Not everybody is cut out for this, Bärchen.
Bärchen: Hey…you know what? The Guys did make me think of that map you drew for me that’s in our Wedding Album. A crazy thought occurred of putting copies of that in a bottle. But I told them that was special to us and we’d never think of selling it.
Fox: Well, we are giving this shit away. I mean, we could do that, if you think it will help get the message out there. I kinda ran up quite a bit of Karma getting us to this point. Quite a lot a bit. It’s just that you, too, didn’t have a whole lot of Social Capital to work with. I mean, nobody was ever going to make you the manager of…
Bärchen: Okay! I get it. So what have you figured out?
Fox: I think I’ve got the name–“Foxfire Elixir”. And the tag line–“Guaranteed to grant Mastery in Realms both Sacred and Profane” So, then we’ll add the map and a disclaimer in fine print that says “just not in the ‘elixir’ part”.
Bärchen: Wait. How can we make a guarantee? It depends on how much effort people put into it. Won’t we get sued?
Fox: Well, somebody will sue us no matter what. How about “warranted”? That should work–“Warranted to grant Mastery in Realms both Sacred and Profane”. I like it. What do you think?
Bärchen: I guess so. I “cast my fate to the wind”, as Vince Guaraldi said. So you haven’t come up with a logo?
Fox: Not yet. Your sister said the ones I’d come up with needed a little more make-up, as she put it. Oh, and you too, by the way. You can’t go on stage like that.
Bärchen: Speaking of which, the stage, that is, any ideas for that?
Fox: I can see you up there with Seven Golden Lampstands, like gas-lights at the front of the stage, but lit by Kitsunebi, of course. I can take care of that part.
Bärchen: You’re going to be up there with me as well, aren’t you? My “lovely assistant”?
Fox: Of course! Sis said she would find me a Valkyrie uniform like hers…
Bärchen: You’re wearing a Valkyrie uniform? Okay. Yes that was our agreement, you can always look like whatever you want, Dame Ragnelle. I suppose this all fits, somehow. What do I know?
Fox: Yes. And you can wear your black frock coat with the silver buttons, and your black top hat.
Bärchen: That works. What were you thinking about the Map?
Fox: I’ll call the Printing Shop at Hell University Bookstore. I get an Alumna discount and they’ll do a great job of printing up the map on something elixir-proof.
Bärchen: Sounds good.
Fox: Hey! Why don’t we call them now? Go grab our Map and you can read off the steps I wrote for you on the back.
Bärchen: Sure thing.
[… Fox makes a call, in a short time Bärchen returns …]
Fox: Yes, thank you! And here’s my husband now with the steps to print on the back. [to Bärchen] Why do I love it so much when I get to call you “husband”, huh? [hands phone to Bärchen]
Bärchen: [to Fox] Stop that! You’re making all my Chakras tingle!… [into phone] Yes…hello!
Printer: Yes, I’m here sir, please go ahead.
Bärchen: Okay, well, it’s the 12 Steps of AA along with the story line of the Odyssey. A bit odd, I know.
Printer: Please continue, sir.
Bärchen: Okay… [reading]
- Admit Failure / The Cave of the Cyclops
- Believe in Restoration / The Bag of Winds
- Submit the Will / Circe and the Island of Aeaea
- Take Inventory / To Hades and Back…almost
- Clarification / Hiding Out in Ogygia
- Letting Go (Receptivity) / The Raft and the Sea
- Remove Shortcomings / The Phaiakians
- Consider the Consequences / The Hut of the Swineherd
- Make Amends (Do the Work) / The Beggar at the Palace
- Practice Makes Perfect / The Competition of the Bow
- The Path of Prayer / Reunification
- Evangelization / The Oar as Winnowing Fan [… Fox takes back the phone …]
Fox: [to Bärchen] Thank you! …[into phone] So that, and the map of the Odyssey on front, that’s it. Thank you so much. Okay. Yes. That will be fine. Bye now. [to Bärchen] They’ll be ready by next Tuesday.
Bärchen: Excellent.
Fox: Hearing that list again reminded me–our Anniversary is coming up soon and I thought about going to…
Bärchen: Camp Runamok?!
Fox: Yes, Bärchen, but I prefer to call it something more romantic, like Ogygia.
Bärchen: Yes, Calypso’s Isle. We haven’t been back there in a while. And you remained hidden for the most part during those 7 years we spent there, mostly visiting me in my dreams and in my Pathworkings.
Fox: I think it was a little longer than 7 years for you, sweetie. Remember what I told you that time, when I appeared in one of those Pathworkings? You were so surprised, and yet not surprised to see me, even though back then you didn’t know who I was. And I told you I wanted you to become a writer.
Bärchen: Who woulda’ thunk it. And you kept me going to my ΝΟΣΤΟΣ, in spite of all the setbacks.
[… they kiss …]
Bärchen: So, to Ogygia we will go!
Fox: Pack your Paraphenalia. We’re going to do a lot of Ritual Work.
Bärchen: I know. It’s the best way not to go insane, because every day is a perfect day in Paradise…until you start to think about it.
Fox: Amen! Preach it, brother!
Bärchen: So, are we all wrapped up in Elixir department? What about my speech?
Fox: Oh, that. Well, see, you’re going to do this thing as a Mime, white face paint and all. You’ll come up with a Mime routine to point out all the benefits and explain what it’s good for.
Bärchen: A…Mime! Huh?! Could you make this a little harder, please. I thought we were hiding in plain sight, not doing Performance Art.
Fox: You’ll make a great Mime. Please, pretty please? I’m going to wear white face paint as well. And what’s wrong with Performance Art?
Bärchen: Okay, okay, if it means that much to you, I’ll do it. I’d better start working on my routine. But this better not get me turned out of the Illuminati. I don’t how they are about this sort of thing.
Fox: They won’t turn you out. Oh! And one last thing before you go–I’ve booked an opening performer for the Medicine Show.
Bärchen: Who’d ya get?
Fox: From Hell’s Hottest Acts I got a guy named Henry Roeland Byrd, goes by the stage name Professor Longhair…
Bärchen: You got Professor Fuckin’ Longhair?!
Fox: This is good?
Bärchen: I’ll say. Just the greatest New Orleans Blues and Jazz singer and pianist ever. Girl, you done good. Shit!
Fox: Excellent! Okay, good, you go practice, practice. And one more practice gets us to Carnegie Hall, or so the guy told us when we visited New York. [smiles]
Bärchen: “I go, I go; look how I go, Swifter than arrow from the Tartar’s bow.”
Fox: Okay, you go, my puckboy!
[… watch for Herr Bärchen’s Esoteric Medicine Show coming soon to a venue near you, featuring Foxfire Elixir– Grants Mastery in Realms both Sacred and Profane …]
Blue Fox Shaman 
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