Blue Fox Shaman

Mrs. Gay: Oh dear! Now, everybody, don’t panic, but lunch is going to be delayed, I’m afraid.

Azar: What’s up Mom?

Mrs. Gay: The pilot light on my stove has gone out. And someone used up the last of my matches.

The Twins: Sometimes that’s the price we must pay for Science.

Azar: What have you two been up to?

The Twins: Nuttin’ much. But don’t you worry, Mrs. Gay, we can help with that.

Mrs. Gay: I wouldn’t dream of imposing on you two. Maybe Auricia can help.

The Twins: It’s no problem. We was thinkin’ of steppin’ out for a bit anyway. We’ll bring back something to light it with, pronto.

Mrs. Gay: If you’re sure it won’t inconvenience you…

The Twins: We’re out the door already.

Fox: [whispers to Bärchen] Maybe we should follow them, in case they get themselves into trouble.

Bärchen: Or destroy something, more likely. But, I think I know what they’re up to. I’ll explain on the way.

[… Fox and Bärchen follow the The Twins. Before long, they arrive just outside the Pearly Gates of Heaven’s gated community …]

The Twins: Okay, let’s run down the list. Fennel stalk? Check. Asbestos gloves? Check. Tongs? Check. Fake IDs? Check. Good. Okay, smile innocently. Check…

St. Peter: IDs please… Did somebody call for maintenance?

The Twins: Didn’t someone call you up? They always forget to mention the sub-contractors. We got an urgent request — T Coronae Borealis is going nova. May have to clear the area.

St. Peter: I’ll have to call this in…

The Twins: How about we get started over there? Time is of the essence, even if you are in Eternity.

St. Peter: Fine, fine. Just monitor your pagers in case.

The Twins: Will do!

[… Fox and Bärchen also approach the Gates …]

St. Peter: Hey Bärchen. Back so soon?

Bärchen: Yeah, we left some Tupperware at Pastor Smith’s and we need it for another gig. Do you know how expensive those things are now?

St. Peter: Got it. Just remember curfew is at 11pm.

Bärchen: You bet, thanks! [whispers to Fox] Okay, you pick that up and I’ll do my thing, then I’ll meet you back here.

Fox: Aye, aye, Captain!

[… at a large, hangar-like structure near the outskirts, flashes are seen from inside the building as cloud trucks rumble in and out of the loading docks …]

The Twins: There it is. “Cyclopes Manufacturing”. They’re so busy delivering bolts right now, nobody’ll miss one.

Bärchen: [to self] Just where I thought. Those maniacs are going to try to steal a thunderbolt.

[… The Twins duck into the warehouse, followed shortly after by Bärchen. After a few minutes, Bärchen exits and heads back. Then the Twins run out the back with a glowing object. They head toward the outer perimeter of Heaven …]

The Twins: That hole in the fence ought to be right about… here! And nobody followed us? We’re golden.

[… When the The Twins return, everybody is sitting around, non-chalantly …]

The Twins: So, Mrs. Gay, we got something to light your stove with!

Mrs. Gay: Oh, what took you boys so long? I was beginning to wonder, so I just made a Caesar Salad. I thought you just stepped out for some Bic lighters. Well, come and sit down with everybody…

The Twins: Give us just a moment. We got something even better than lighters, Mrs. Gay. Here, let us plug this into the ol’ stove. This’ll breathe new life into it…

[… a few moments later…BOOM! A sudden explosion sends everyone scrambling into the kitchen to see what happened …]

Azar: Uh, guys, what did you just do?

Fox: Yeah, and look at you two! That isn’t very nice for our blog–do you know how many celebrities got in trouble for wearing black face?

Bärchen: [laughs] Too many to count. But you guys, clean up in the sink over there and I’ll see to the stove.

[… Bärchen removes a fennel stalk from under his jacket, puts on gloves and goggles, and produces some tongs. He uses the tongs to pull a small ember from the stalk and deftly lights the stove’s pilot …]

Bärchen: There, Mrs. Gay. That should inspire your wonderful cooking for a while.

Azar: Nicely done, bro’!

Mrs. Gay: Thank you!

Bärchen: Its all just a matter of practice, combined with constant self-reflection and know-how. You have to step down the power but without letting it dissipate all at once. Fox taught me how.

Azar: I should have guessed. You’re the one who corrupted him, Sis?

Fox: Of course. And tell everybody what else, my Padawan.

Bärchen: You can’t have any regrets. Not a single one, not about anything, ’cause they’ll draw away that power and dissipate it quick as anything.

Azar: No wonder those fools caused an explosion. Thankfully, they survived, though they did lose some eyebrows, apparently. What were you guys thinking? You want to have your liver torn out by an eagle, like Prometheus?

The Twins: Funny, that’s what the doctor said about how much Jägermeister we been drinkin’.

Azar: You guys have a real problem, you know that!?

The Twins: The doctor said that too.

Azar: Aarrggh!

[… after lunch the dishes are cleared and washed, then Fox and Bärchen take a walk …]

Fox: So, Bärchen, any plans for the rest of that Heavenly Fire?

Bärchen: Actually, yes. My plan was to ask you, because you’ve been hinting about something interesting you’d like to try.

Fox: Hah! Am I that transparent?

Bärchen: No, but I’m getting to know you more as time goes by.

Fox: So sweet! And speaking of time, yes, you guessed it–there’s a new Time Travel module for the Alpha 428, and it requires quite a bit of juice. But what you got there should be good for a couple of trips, at least. We just have to get you your Time Traveler’s license first.

Bärchen: Where do I get that?

Fox: It’s a bit of a Catch-22 I’m afraid. Testing takes place during the entire month of May, in Strasbourg…

Bärchen: So we need to book a flight?

Fox: … in the year 1526 CE.

Bärchen: Ah!

[… this episode brought to you by …]

ΚΕΡΑΥΝΟΣ = A thunderbolt, especially as the weapon of Zeus, forged by the Cyclopes.
I Ching: 001:111 34. Great Strength / The Power of the Great
judgment: To keep going is advantageous.
image: Don’t tread upon paths that do not accord with established order.
alchemy: III. Phoenix and Dragon – 10. Monitor/Evaluate
Tarot: Five ♥/Cups
upright: regret, failure, disappointment, pessimism, loss, grief, self-pity
reversed: acceptance, moving on, finding peace

ΝΑΡΘΗΞ = The giant fennel, Ferula communis, the stalk was used by Prometheus to steal Fire from Heaven. Also used for the stalk used as a θύρσος (Dionysus). Used as a schoolmaster’s cane, as a splint for a broken limb, and as a singlestick for military exercises (martial arts).
I Ching: 111:100 33. Retreat / Retreat
judgment: Success is possible in what is small; to keep going is advantageous.
image: Keep inferior people at a distance, not angrily but with reserve.
alchemy: III. Phoenix and Dragon – 9. Execute/Process
Tarot: Eight ♦/Pentacles
upright: apprenticeship, high standards, mastery, skill development.
reversed: lack of passion or motivation, uninspired, perfectionism, misdirection.