Blue Fox Shaman

{The Twins wanted to write their own blog post. So here goes. Make us proud, guys!}

One day, as Socrates was hurrying to the Agora, he almost tripped over something, and a voice said:

“Quack! Hey, watch it, wise guy!”

“Who said that?”

Socrates look around but couldn’t see who had spoken.

“Over here… no, no… down here. Why aren’t you watchin’ where you’re goin’? Hey, you’re that Socrates fellow, aren’t you?!”

“You can talk?!”

“Well, well, ya got an astute grasp of the obvious, don’t ya?”

“Did that punk kid Plato send you? Tell that boy he owes me a written Apology.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. But, hey, since I’m talking to the Genuine Wise Guy himself, Mr. Socrates, no less… could you loan me five hundred obols?”

“Huh! What makes you think I carry cash like that around with me, and why would I …”

“I figured you was rolling in the dough, what with you being the Wisest Man on Earth, that is, according to the Oracle on the Island of… what was it now? Oh yeah, the Island of the Blue Dolphins.”

“That’s Delphi, and no, I’m not rich.”

“What good is being wise if it don’t make you rich? Sheesh! Hey, but I bet it makes you popular with the dames, right?! Or with the slave boys if that’s the way your gate turns. You think you could set me up with a nice mallard?”

“No, and that’s not what being wise is about. The Oracle said I was the wisest because, well, because I know that I don’t know anything.”

“Huh! Well if that don’t beat… Hey, wait a minute. [in a low voice] So you’re playin’ the long con here, ain’t ya? Any way I could get in on the action? Nobody’d suspect a talking duck…”

“Would you kindly get out of my way!?! I’ve got to get to the Agora to question Meno’s slave boy about the Pythagorean Theorem.”

“Okay, okay, far be it from me to rat out a fellow grifter. If you change your mind, let me know. Just a word of advice–these folks can turn real poisonous when they figure out your little scheme, even if all you’re gettin’ out of it is ‘The Glory that was Greece’.”

“What are you suggesting, you little…”

“No need to take offense, Admiral! Power takes many forms. I know. My mother, rest her soul, used to say the best con is when the mark gives it of their own free will, and would gladly have given more. Just don’t outstay your welcome. She was a kind-hearted old bird.”

“<Sigh> Well, I never.”

Socrates turned to go.

“Okay, well, like I said, Admiral, look me up if you need a schill, I’m a pretty good decoy…”

The moral: for the occasional indigestion and heartburn caused by enlightenment, take Alka-Seltzer. [Hemlock is not FDA approved.]

{Uh, guys… was there anything uplifting in that whole post? Stop snickering and help me clean up my shattered reputation, or I’ll sic [sic] Fox on you!}